I’m just going to go ahead and lay down these words, right here, in the off chance I may need to be reminded some day. Like, tomorrow, perhaps? I hope not. But, if so, it will be here. For you, and for me. Just in case.
Because, the truth is that our faith is sometimes strong, and sometimes not. Sometimes it rises up to meet us at the first light of day, and other times, it feels as thin as a gossamer wing. Like milky water, slipping through our grasp. Some days, faith feels like it might just disappear into the atmosphere if we dare to fill our lungs one more time.
We are children of the Light. We have been redeemed, and we are being restored because of the goodness of a God who loves us. A God who has planned good things for us. A God who has set aside, just for us, a hope and a future. Some days, however, it doesn’t feel that way.
Some days, the darkness and the doubt and the fear get the best of us. We tremble at the possibility of sinking sand beneath our feet, and we shrink back at the prospect that we may have built our faith and cast our lot on a myth or some aberration of the Truth.
The enemy is real, y’all. Not a winner. Not by any stretch of the imagination. But, he sure does put up a good fight. He mixes in just enough truth with the lies he serves up that it makes a girl scratch her head and wonder which way is up, for real. But his native language—the only language he knows—is lies. The truth is not in him. He’s a fake and a fraud.
Spiritual warfare is a real and true thing. I don’t say that to scare you. I say it to remind you, in case you’ve been wondering why you keep waking up in the middle of the night in a panic, or why your head keeps playing the same hopeless tapes over and over again—wearing you down and causing you to forget the name of Jesus. When you’re in the throes of the battle and it feels as if you might be losing, the natural instinct is to turn into yourself and to try to make sense of the senselessness inside your head.
But in those moments, what we need is Jesus. And, sometimes, we need a few friends who will pick up the corners of our mat for us and lower us through the roof and right into the very presence of the King of Kings. Sometimes, the battle is too much for us alone. So, here are three things to remember, when the enemy has singled you out for a bit of hand-to-hand combat and you find your strength waning and your resolve giving way:
- Jesus loves me, this I know. It is the Truth, and it is the first line of a song. Sometimes, all you’ll have energy for is the very first word, and the very first word is enough. Say it, out loud: Jesus. Say it, over and over again: Jesus. That may be all you’ve got today. Just a few breaths that sound like, Jesus. Say it again tomorrow. And the next day. And one day, you’ll be able to sing that first line. And then the next line.
- You are not alone. It may feel as if you’re the only one in the world, and definitely the only person who feels what you’re feeling right now. But that’s not the truth. Jesus knows exactly how you feel. There is nothing we’ve experienced that Jesus didn’t also experience; he promised he would never leave us, or forsake us. And, for good measure, he has given us brothers and sisters on this journey. Reach out to them. Tell them your struggle. Ask for their prayers. Admit your fears and your doubts and your faithlessness. Let them carry you to Jesus until you’ve got the strength to get there on your own.
- Jesus won. This is no brand-new struggle. This is the evidence of a frustrated and petulant enemy who is also a sore loser. His time is limited. His power is waning. His work here is almost done. And he knows it. Jesus defeated our enemy more than 2000 years ago. So, hang onto that gossamer wing of faith with the smallest bit of energy you’ve got to give. Jesus is going to bring you through this, and celebration is just around the bend.
:::
A prayer for the weary warrior: Lord, bless those who are weary in battle. Comfort those who are fearful and riddled with doubt. Speak hope to those who have lost all hope and who wonder where you’ve gone. Remind us to pray for one another, and give us a firm resolve to carry the mats of our sisters and brothers who have no more strength for the journey. Let us be burden lifters and bearers of Truth. Thank you for giving us to one another. Thank you for being closer than we imagine. Forgive us for taking it all for granted, and thank you for loving us anyway. We would ask that you protect us from trials and battles that tear at our solid foundation, but we know your ability to redeem even that and to fortify us as a result of going through the fire. So, while we ask for your protection, we timidly put our trust in you. In the end, let us have loved well. Let us go boldly into the places where you lead us. Let our children see our faith and believe because of your grace. And receive us into your Kingdom, Lord. And the church said, Amen.
Some questions for you: Is this something you can relate to? Who are the people who have carried your mat for a season? Do you have a season of spiritual warfare in your review mirror? How did that season change you? What advice would you give to someone experiencing a season like this?
Scads of seasons, long and short behind me. I just came through a five or six day heavy oppression, tomb days. Several years ago those days would cover me in anxiety and insecurity and the lies of my life would gather for a reunion. This last one was especially dark, but I’ve learned they pass. I quote scripture whether it makes me feel better or not. Out loud! Play praise music. And when none of those things soothed my searing soul this week, I ate something healthy and went to sleep. He gives rest and restoration in sleep. Always, after my tomb days there is revelation and today it came in furious and beautiful and rich with two stories I will tell my grandchildren and if you’d like to hear them in two weeks, I’d love to tell you also! Thank you for this post of affirmation!!!!!
You’ve got me thinking about napping. I am not usually a good napper, and I have told myself that for years. I can’t get my brain to stop racing around in my head long enough to go to sleep. And then, I always feel as if I need to time my nap so that I don’t waste away the afternoon or something. I don’t want to miss anything, or seem as if I’m unproductive. But, I AM being unproductive, sitting on the love seat worrying about nothing and doing nothing but worrying about nothing. Maybe a nap is just the invitation God’s extending to me in those moments.
Years ago, I came across a verse that I’d forgotten about until now:
It is in vain that you rise up early
and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
for he gives to his beloved sleep. Psalm 127:2
Thanks for helping me remember. Peace to you, Marcy. And yes! I want to hear those stories!
Thank you Deidra what a beautiful prayer! I will have to mull over the questions later. 12 hour shift and I can’t think anymore 🙂
Yikes! Twelve hours?!?! Go get some rest, girl!
Oh gosh yes I can relate. I’ve been through some pretty dark times. The Jesus prayer got me through as well as blessing my enemy which included me. And people’s prayers seem to make a shield. I do know you come through stronger and more grounded and longing for the time when we shall be like him because we will see him as he is. All will be well, all will be well, all manner of things will be well. I will keep you in my regular prayers. This is a wise, wise post. Thank you for the faith building in it. Peace of the Lord be with you always.
“Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Yes, yes, yes. That one goes so well with the work of breathing. We’ll keep breathing out prayers for one another, yes?
Oh yes. Thank you.
I hate how the enemy plays so dirty, like fear and worry plaqueing you always seems to happen at night, and hopelessness haunts your thoughts first thing in the morning before your feet have even found your slippers setting the tone for a day filled with despair. I’m so thankful for the weapons we have to defeat him. You gave us some good ones!
While I don’t wish this battle on anyone, I have to say it brings me such encouragement to read your words, Elizabeth. It’s as if you’ve been walking in my shoes. Thank you for this. And, thank God for the powerful weapons we’ve been given.
Going back and rehearsing the basics….the fundamentals! We are forgetful people and the voice of the enemy can be loud and overwhelming if we stop reminding ourselves. Thanks for writing about these simple but profound truths!
I’ve been so in awe, lately, of people who have simple, childlike faith. These are the people it would be so easy to cast aside and pass over because of their way of going about things. But, we have much to learn from them, you know? The way they just go about life, believing. It’s so beautiful to watch.
I wearied.
I sought my mat carriers.
I risked asking for prayer.
I waited long, silent.
I got up.
I found my voice.
When asked, I told my story and was surprised.
The telling seemed to open a door,
a door through which many I could not have anticipated passed,
including me.
Note to self:
She who is willing only to be a mat carrier
and never the one being carried
will miss much. 🙂
Marilyn, piggybacking here in the comments…forgive me. your ‘note to self’ really resonates. amen.
Oh, this is beautiful, Marilyn. I feel the longing and the beauty in the distress. And, the note to self is spot-on. When I wrote this, I thought it was just for me. I had no idea it would resonate with so many.
Deidra,
I’m so glad you wrote this…I’ve been praying for you and I’m grateful you shared with us in the prayer group. And in the body of Christ, we all eventually take turns carrying and being carried :-)….((Hugs))
Thank you for the poem. It made me think and at the end made me chuckle. So true.
Deidra, yes, I can relate…One week on the other side of the event of the Faith and Culture Conference I can tell you that the enemy tried over and over again to send defeat and destruction into not only our Leaders’ lives but those on our team. We knew God was up to some big stuff and there was redemption and restoration to be had in that gathering. The testimonies continue to roll in about what God did.
(Ask Alia about the warfare part…at every turn there was discouragement and setback for her, and her message was anointed. Anointed.)
The longer I live the more I’m convinced that bad things happen to good people when you believe in a big God and speak the truth that sets people free. The enemy hates it when people are free.
Thank you so much for these beautiful words, they are a balm.
Yes, yes. I knew about Alia’s journey. So crazy! And, of course, Cornelia’s ordeal. It’s so easy to forget about him when we keep our heads down and stay out of God’s will. But, when we step into what God has planned for us, we raise his attention, don’t we? Praying peace over you all as you rest from the event and move into what God has next for you.
Such a good, good word. Thank you friend. I know all of this but I need constantly reminded. Thanks for flipping my day and my heart around. 😉
Oh, I’m glad it helped turn things around for you! Me too. I needed to be reminded. 🙂
yes, yes…mat-carrying friends. i would have sunk (sunken?) beneath the weight of grief and loss (personal and professional) had it not been for “carol’s posse” as one of them dubbed themselves. I still have them in my life. Now they are scattered. Skype conversations and a weekend or two a year have to do.
I also have been in counseling several periods over the past 10 years and currently in a therapy group that has been a lfe saver for me.
and recently when i wondered what ,if anything, i really believed anymore since it all seems so confusing, I listened to “The Creed” by Petra. And I knew I believed that. My kids used to listen to Petra a lot and I remember that particular song blaring (I was going to say playing!) in the mornings as they were getting ready for school.
i love what Marilyn said about telling our story, being wiling to be carried. i too am gathering stories i want to my grandchildren to know.
cya in two weeks. can’t wait.
You are a gifted writer and this post is such an encouragement. I’ve walked that season of weak faith, and in many ways, I am still muddling my way through. So timely.
Truth! Have experienced many seasons like this. I’ve found that different mat bearers have been on the scene in my life at different times who are familiar with that particular territory. Best advice i’ve heard is to simply not quit.
I can relate! A lot of times I’ve been weak in my faith and slow in trusting the Lord. I encountered a spiritual battle when I was alone in my room, actually many times but thankfully at the mention of the name of Jesus I’ve been set free. All throughout my experiences God has been faithful and keep lifting my head up, never letting me fall. Thank you, this is a great encouragement for everyone and a blessing!
I need to be reminded of this every day. Thank you!
Preach it, sister. Spot on – thank you.
yes, spiritual warfare is real. and yes, I have a season of panic attacks in my rear view mirror.
Those panic attacks changed me in the sense that I had to face many things that I had pushed to the back of my mind. One by one, I dealt with some situation or belief that I had not wanted to face.
I also had to realize that I had to make a complete surrender to Christ and trust that He could handle all that plagued my mind. And He did.
I had and still have very sweet friends and family that prayed with me and encouraged me to hang on. I also realized that back then I had never taken a break from the day to day stress of life.
I went on a mini vacation at some friends mountain home (during that time). I came back home and slowly started to take time to nourish my health and soul first then I would proceed with the day to day stuff.
That was about 14 years ago but the memory of it all is still very real. To this day I take time to nourish my soul via prayer, Bible study etc and nourish my body via healthy food and exercise.
Now I didn’t say that I am now perfect in everything, but I take time to be well as best as possible.
I would tell someone experiencing a “season” to hang on. Don’t give up the fight. Look to One Source for truth – The Word. Jesus can handle your situation. Just keep looking to Him and if you have to let go of some long held belief that is not true, let it go.
I would also tell them that God is love. It may not feel like it now, but His love is big enough to keep you and help you through this difficult time.
When I went through these panic attacks, my friend that lives in the mountains kept telling me “Tonya, one day you will have to help someone going through a similar situation.”
Well, I hope this helps someone.
The Lord has used this to speak to me in my weariness, letting me know that He is present, He sees, He cares….even when I doubt if He is. Oh what a wonderful Saviour! Thank you, Deidra, as always.
Yes, this resonates with me in a big way!!! I feel I’ve been beaten and attacked for the past year, so weary and ready to give in. I reverted back to an old habit in my despair, when all I really need is Jesus. I’m beginning to crawl my way out of the pit and am so grateful that He was still there all along.
The battle is not mine, but the Lord’s…
So glad to have connected. Your work is inspiring
Gulie Khalaf