I doubt I will ever be one of those people with a five year plan. If you’re one of those people, know that I hold you in high esteem. We need you. I need you. What I am, is an ideator. Not only am I an ideator, but I am spontaneous with my ideas. They pop into my mind and, before I know it, I’ve got a new dream and I’m five miles down the road to a new adventure. I am learning to temper my ideas. There is only one me, and I’ve only got so much energy and resources and so many skills.
When I started blogging, it was just a hobby. I’ve said it before: I didn’t intend to talk about faith, but that’s where I ended up. An even bigger surprise, however, is the fact that — no matter what I’m writing about — I keep on blogging.
Now, as I said in an earlier post, you can’t help but tell your story. You know the things that are important to you, and those things will show up in your writing, just because their importance is part of your spiritual, intellectual, or emotional DNA. The more you blog, the more acquainted you’ll become with the things that matter to you, and the more ways you’ll find to express them and to understand why they have such a big part of your heart.
It happens to everyone. As we visit other bloggers, we start to know their passions and their story. We learn about opportunities to give and to serve, and we’re encouraged to think about things in ways we never considered before we’d read about a topic from another writer’s point of view. But, something I noticed, the more I blogged and read other bloggers, was this phenomenon people have of taking sides. Scroll to the bottom of some bloggers’ posts, and you almost feel as if you have to brace yourself for the argument going on among the commenters, and the escalating jabs and snipes they take at one another.
Being the ideator that I am, without a five year plan, I started to think it was important to form an opinion about everything I was reading so that I knew what “side” I was on when I read through the comments. And, let me tell you, I am easily swayed. I can see and understand and relate to both sides of an argument. Present your side to me, and I’ll nod and say, “Yes! I agree!” And then, let someone with the opposite point of view talk to me for five or ten minutes, and I’m all like, “Of course! I see what you’re saying!” It’s exhausting.
There are a few things about which I have a solid opinion. These things are my passion; they help make up my story. They are, as I’ve said, my bedrock. I would be hard pressed to abandon the things that matter most to me. All the rest? Well, all of that is gravy. I don’t have to take a side. I can be informed. I can read about the passions other people have, but I don’t have to get on a bandwagon, simply because everyone else seems to be riding along to wherever that wagon might be headed. I can pack a few sandwiches, wish them well on their journey, and keep focused on the little corner of the world where God’s got my two feet planted.
Realizing I don’t have to take a side on every single issue out there was like having a fresh idea in my head. It was invigorating, and freeing, and a bit of a thrill. It took the pressure off for me, and made it possible for me to click away from an online argument with a prayer and nary a second glance. If you ask me, there are way better places to have a disagreement than here in the digital world. There are far better things to do than to make sure I’m on the “right side” of every argument out there.
I’ve lived long enough to know the tide will turn. People change their minds, new information gets shared, and people start to see things differently and find themselves to be a little more open to the people on the “other side.” Because — and this is one of those things I believe strongly, but you may see things differently — Jesus came to tear down all the walls we put up to keep each other at a distance. Jesus came to get rid of the sides; especially the “me vs. God” and the “me and God vs. you” sides. It was the ultimate act of reconciliation, and it’s our inheritance — this gift of being done with choosing sides. Love doesn’t take sides. Love does not choose me over you, or your idea over mine. Love is (and I realize, this may sound trite) all we need. Because God is love, and he’s not taking sides.
This week, meet Alicia Paulson at Posie Gets Cozy.
I have found myself caught up in online arguments. The ones that took place in on horse training forums were worth it, yes. I developed skills for using my mind and made some interesting friends. (LOL!) I also got some good help for my horse when she was being difficult.
On a Pathos blog I made one comment and came back and found quite the conversation underneath. Needless to say I just read the comments but didn’t jump in. Sometimes the back and forth of threads are very interesting.
Riding horses was a big part of my high school and early college days. My friend and college roommate had horses, and we’d ride many late evenings into the woods and across the fields in Michigan. Great memories!
Way cool that horses were part of your life back in the day. I hope someday we get to sit down and visit in person about stuff…
I completely agree, Deidra. Most of what gets debated is in the gravy category for me too! I’ve made it a point from the beginning that I want my blog and my voice {in comments, where-ever it is} to be inspirational and encouraging. If I can’t find something positive to say in a comment, I click away without saying anything. In almost four years of blogging I’ve received one negative comment. It was from a German man on a post I wrote last year for 4th of July. He was offended by my statements about democracy, etc. Ironically, what offends him about our country, also offends me, lol. Actually, he misunderstood the spirit of some of the comments I made. But that’s okay. Not everyone is going to agree with what we say all the time. As long as commentators remain respectful, I think sharing opinions and ideas is great. Sadly, that is often not the case.
PS Saw you over at Linda’s! I’m enjoying your series as much as she is 🙂
Whenever you show up, I know you’ve got something encouraging to say so…mission accomplished! 🙂
Oh, my, blushing here… what a sweet thing to say, Deidra! You made my day, thank you 🙂
I tend to shy away from taking sides. I have a public role at work and it can be difficult to untangle the professional and the personal. But as a matter of faith, I’m schooled in unity on the essentials and liberty on the rest. So my passions while strong generally don’t go on the attack when it involves people
Great point, David. Our lives are not segmented and so, whether or not we realize it, our online voice impacts us in all of our roles. I think that may be easy to forget, once the conversation reaches a certain level. Thanks for your insight here.
Without seeing body language, hearing tone of voice, being able to reach out and take a hand, or see a tear that falls or a little bit of a smile, well … it’s hard to have a heavy-duty online discussion without being misunderstood or misunderstanding.
And often, the introvert / counselor in me likes to sit in the back corner and just soak it all in.
Maybe my age is showing, but the older I get, the fewer things are carved in stone … and only Scriptural essentials are worth going to the mat for. I’ve stopped reading a few blogs along the way because they left me with an unsettledness in my spirit by the time I was done reading.
And yes, there’s only so much energy to go around each day. I want to invest mine in places where I can give and receive an encouraging word. I’ll leave the debates to others …
You’ve created a safe place to go deep, Deidra. Thanks!
;-}
I do hope this is a safe place. That is one of the most important things to me. If it ever becomes anything different, I sure hope you guys will let me know. 🙂
Amen and hallelujah to this one, Dee. Thank you!
🙂
I’ve almost never got caught up in an online argument, and the one time I did, I think I commented two times before I stopped. Ironically I agreed with the point of the blog post (it was about abortion), but so despised its tone and tack, that I commented to say that “you can win the argument but lose the [baby & woman’s] life” meaning who cares if a Christian can win the argument against abortion if babies are still dying and if women’s lives are still getting derailed? This was years ago, but I still remember, so clearly the post bothered me enough to say something about it. I think because I see blogging like opinion writing in a newspaper, I wouldn’t just write a letter to the editor, and in the same way I don’t comment a disagreement unless I think there is something major at stake.
I don’t feel the need to take sides either because there are very few things – almost nothing – where I see myself as part of a side. I guess I’m a bit like you in that sense, but I do think that the longer you parse through an issue, the better we get to know it, the more we are found in many places in the discussion, not in one firm place.
I hear you, Devi. Sitting with the conversation has often helped me figure out what I think about an issue, and I often end up finding myself resonating with something from both “sides” while leaving room for growth. I hope. 🙂
Hi Deidra! No five year plan here either. I’m always sort of flying by the seat of my pants. And as far as arguments go – I was so happy to know you are easily swayed too! I need lots and lots of time to process things. It never works out very well when I jump right into an argument without much thought. I’ve just decided not to participate in any of them any more. I just click away. There are too many other things I’d much rather be doing, and I would feel just awful if a thoughtless comment were to hurt someone else.
Loving this series!
Yes! Too many other things I’d rather be doing. So true, Linda. So true.
I’m like you, I am easily swayed. I’ve often said that I would be absolutely no good on a jury, for I would go back and forth like crazy! It’s sad that so many things have to bring about *controversy* these days. I don’t think anyone wins when people take sides. It only breeds ill feelings and disharmony and sometimes, hatred.
I love that you reminded us that Jesus, though His message divided people, He Himself was the Great Reconciler.
GOD BLESS!
Me too. The jury thing. I don’t know how anyone would ever choose me to be on their jury. Knock on wood, of course.
I love everything about his post. It felt like you were reading my mind! I have been known to leave comments before in which I took sides and got on my little bandwagon. I have also been known to go back later and delete those comments. 🙂 So now, I try to just go with the flow and let the others quibble and stay out of the fray. Unless, it is something I feel strongly about and then I might say something, but if so, I try to not sound like I have all the answers. At least I hope I don’t sound like I have all the answers. On another note, I have been doing some journaling as you suggested and it is making me want to write more but more importantly, it is helping me see some things about this season in which I find myself. And, I’ve quit worrying about making sense of it all – it is a journey, and I’m letting God set the pace. So, still not doing a lot of writing on my blog, but slowly but surely getting my groove back. Thanks!
Oh, I’m so glad to hear you’re journaling, and that it’s making a difference for you! If our friend Lynn reads this, she will be thrilled!
Deidra, I’ve come back to your blog after a long reading hiatus because the content and your voice help me as I create. I’ll be starting my own blog and want to get a pulse for what I can speak to that is special. Reading your blogs help remind me of being grounded and focused. Thanks! I’ve missed you!!
looking forward to reading your blog!